So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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