Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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