wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
