I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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