I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My vagina is officially offended.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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