She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
