Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
