I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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