I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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