Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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