whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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