you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
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I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.