If i come over, it means nothing
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..