He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
