I feel like abortions should bother me more
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize