So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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