i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
