We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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