Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
