Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Your dad touched me again.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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