Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
