he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
