He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
