his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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