The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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