Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
