he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
