I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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