are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize