NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize