Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
