Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
