I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
