If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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