I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize