im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
