her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
