I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
