She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
