Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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