i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is Oprah even human
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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