He told me they were just razor bumps!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
