I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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