i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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