How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
