He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
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