Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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