It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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