he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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