Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My life is pants optional.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
