it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
