Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
