The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
