Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
