Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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