My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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