I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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