I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
