So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
