loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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