i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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